From the newest issue of Maxim:

Who wants to be a Milla-naire?

I met your September cover model, Milla Jovovich, back in the day, and I 
was shocked to discover that she was far hotter in person (which I didn’t 
think would be possible). She was also very nice. She shot me down 
very gently when I asked her out. Anyway, that made me wonder: What 
percentage of cover girls look pretty much like you’d expect them to, 
and what percentage make you think, Oh, crap, that’s disappointing? 
Mike Carey via e-mail

Wait, you asked out Milla Jovovich? Do your granite testicles chafe, or are they sanded to a glossy finish so they swish gently across your knees?